Unable
by Illusionary Heart
Summary: Eve contemplates the nature of her personality and how it affects the relationship with her cousins. Drabble-ish.


**A/N: Hello children. You're probably wondering why I'm uploading a one-shot instead of working on RISE or Innocent. But, but, the thing is, I'm almost done with RISE chp4 - don't worry. I just need one more thing and then I'm done. **

**Innocent - I looked over the quality of the chapters *majority of it written in korea in july* and I almost died. I need to rewrite them, I'm so sorry!**

**Also, no classes for this. Just imagine whatever you want.**

**And yes, Lunatic and Master are Add's classes. I ran out of male characters, sooo... Eheh.**

**Eve is easy to write. **

**Also announcement: After I post RISE chp4 (or whatever chapter it was idk) and Innocent, I'll be going to Turkey for majority of winter break and won't be writing or posting anything during that time period. Sorry!**

**also sorry for bad quality of drabble i know it's bad af**

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><p>Ever since she was young, Eve was unable to properly communicate with her family, her friends, everybody. There were just things she wasn't able to say because… Well, she just couldn't. She didn't know why, but she just didn't want to.<p>

And this separated her from the rest of her family. Eve loved them possibly even more than she loved herself – but she couldn't say the same about them. She barely even talked to them.

There were three of her cousins attending an out of school class – she couldn't remember the class anymore, but they were there, along with a handful of others. Eve was the younger of the cousins, with only four lower than her in age.

However, despite the fact that she was also part of the class, she was often left out of the friends' group outings. Eve didn't say anything when they came back from them, and they didn't say anything to her.

It depressed her. A lot. But she didn't do anything about it. She couldn't do anything about it.

It just wasn't her.

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><p>When she was younger, Eve got along really well with a pair of sister cousins, Aisha and Rena. Aisha and Rena would often bring along dolls to play with, and it was all fun and games until one day Eve realized that Rena wouldn't play with them anymore.<p>

She'd sit inside her room listening to music and watching videos on her phone while Eve and Aisha ran throughout the house, giggling and playing the games they always did.

And then Aisha changed, too. Eve noticed that recently, she'd follow her sister around – and they didn't play the games that they used to, either. In fact, Aisha had stopped asking Eve if she wanted to sleep over at her house, too, which disappointed her.

They both had grown older, and with it they'd changed.

But Eve, she hadn't changed. When Aisha and Rena stopped playing with the dolls, she had wanted to keep playing with them. When the duo had expressed an interest in romantic TV shows, she had more interest in the games they used to play and the things they used to share.

She really wanted to return to the past, when she got along better with them.

But that's never going to happen.

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><p>And then there were the pair of brothers both younger than her – her younger cousins. Raven was younger by a year and Chung by three. She never really cared much for them – they were always mean to her when she was younger.<p>

Raven made her cry numerous times by calling her things like 'baby' and 'stupid', and Chung did things like flat-out mooning her. Those two always got along best with her younger brother Add.

With a pair of rich parents, they brought things like their DS (fourth one; all the others had been broken), portable Xbox, laptops, whatever was in at that time.

Neither of them, despite living in Elrios, spoke the language clearly. They had difficulty pronouncing the words correctly, and they overreacted quite often.

*COUGH*THISISWHYYOUNEVERPLAYMAFIAWITHTHESEPEOPLE*COUGH*

But yet, despite all these things, Eve was grateful for them. Raven, most of all, noticed her presence far above others. And she was happy for at least that.

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><p>And then this older pair of siblings was the ones that made her the saddest. Elsword and Elesis.<p>

They very rarely acknowledged her when she came into the room. Sometimes they'd say 'hi', but that was about it.

She hated that. Eve was unable to say anything that didn't come out awkward – she was socially awkward, and extremely so. It made conversations with anybody awkward.

Maybe it was fear that she'd say something wrong and they'd dislike her. Eve didn't know, but she couldn't say anything even if she wanted to.

But these two made her the saddest. She loved them, she really did – but she was never sure how they felt about her, their little cousin. It seemed as if she were just extra company, the person in the background.

Compared to the relationship Elesis and Elsword had to the rest of the family, hers was miniscule and practically nonexistent.

There was that one moment when Elsword (After their grandpa's death), in a moment of tears and sadness, hugged her and told her he was proud of her – she nearly died with happiness. She started crying harder (Her tears were slow despite her sadness), but she hasn't spoken with him since.

That was the only time he had ever hugged her.

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><p>Then, there were those two. Lunatic and Master. They lived far away from her, in Pluone, whilst everybody else lived in Rurensia. Eve had not seen them in five years, and she distinctly remembered hiding from them the last time because she was shy.<p>

And then, for the whole weekend that they were in Rurensia, not a word was exchanged between Master and her.

Lunatic asked her if she had seen Aisha's bat Angkor do some tricks. That was it.

Eve is sorely disappointed – not in Lunatic, not in Master, but in herself and her inability to say anything.

Before they left, Lunatic and Master bought some cream puffs for the family, and then left the box at Eve's house.

In fact, that box is still there, two days after they left, sitting on top of her dresser.

As she looks at it, she thinks that she really should throw it away – but she can't.

It's as if throwing away the box would be like throwing them away – which is totally crazy, but she really doesn't want to throw it away.

She was unable to talk with them, but that doesn't mean that she won't stop loving them. No, that's precisely why she can't throw it away.

It means too much to her to throw away.

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><p>Eve knows that the only person she can trust is herself. Only she will listen to herself and appreciate every single part of it.<p>

The only person she tells things to is herself.

Eve wants to change. She really does.

But she can't. No, she won't.

She hates her personality, she really does.

But yet, she can't do anything to change it.

No, she _won't_ do anything to change it.

Because, in a way, she doesn't know how.


End file.
